What it takes
by Zyuette
Summary: Ask Prim what it takes to have your life turn upside down with nothing but just a piece of paper with your name written on it. But ask Madge what it takes to live a life of constant Hunger Games. "Sometimes the joy does not lie in the fact that you are being loved but in the chance to get to say that you love someone." Takes place during HG & CF. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this world. Not even this damn laptop I am writing this fanfic on. It belongs to my parents. And so does the Hunger Games Trilogy to Suzanne Collins. However I do tend to feel proud over the plot line which is mine thoroughly.**

**A/N:- This fanfic is to celebrate the release of the Catching Fire Trailer and well, its 15th April here already but I guess it's going to release to US timings. Anyways, The Fire is Catching! Cheers! **

* * *

She meets him. Again.

Or more like watches him. She considers it stalking but is it really that? Is it really stalking when you have instinctively developed a radar for someone and you notice them right away when the person is in the room? Or when you feel this impossibly strong urge to look at the person when you can't afford to spare them a glance? She does not know. All she knows is that she can't afford more than a look towards him. Despite all her riches this is one thing she can't have for herself. Being loved.

So she just settles with a glance here and there. Capturing him in his different times.

One time seeing him in his vest, moving around the town, probably looking for something to buy or sell, has her coming undone. He looks far beyond handsome. He looks impeccable so to say but just by the thoughts of it, Madge blushes a crimson red. She can't believe she has impure thoughts and that too for a Seam boy who is definitely off-limits for her.

The other time she catches him in a shirt that is big on him even for his humongous stature and she wonders if it belongs to his father who was killed in the mines. It was reaping day and her first and she only had her nail to bite on, to distract her when she found him standing tall and proud amongst the 14 yr olds. And that was enough to get her through her first Reaping. And the ones to come.

Ask what it takes. What it takes to turn someone's life upside down, to have someone sent to their death doors, to have someone's life change forever.

* * *

Only on her fifth reaping did her life turn upside down. In a good and a bad way.

For it was good to have your glances returned. Every once in a while she would find him looking at her and divert his glance away from her so quick that she would doubt that it did even happen. But too many coincidences and it makes up for an evidence. And it makes her feel as if her stomach is bubbling. Set ablaze by just a quick glance. And she looks forward to it now and then. In the viewings when she sits with her father and out of the corner of the sees him looking at her instead of the screen, it has her melting in a puddle. She knows not what to make of it but for her own sake she thinks he has a crush on her. And that lights up her day more than she could have thought.

It is bad for she thinks it is at Katniss' cost. That he is paying attention just because Katniss isn't here. But she makes no big deal out of it. She takes what she can get. What little he offers.

It surprises her past her belief when he comes to sell her strawberries seeing that he had stopped altogether after Katniss left for the Hunger Games. He smiles and it takes her even more by surprise but she tries to act impassive, like it's no biggie but he notices and leaves with just a curt nod refusing to accept her invitation into the house.

After that he comes often. Staying just long enough to make up for a chit-chat and one day he shows up just without strawberries. She opens the door and finds him rather in a flannel shirt and faded jeans. It was a summer afternoon and the sweltering heat outside had her sweating by just poking her head out. She looks at him awkwardly standing in the doorway scratching his neck and smiles sweetly, offering him to come into her house. He does so without hesitation this time and she leads him into his bedroom. He is immediately startled upon by the huge dimensions of her bedroom, let alone the huge grand piano that sits in her bedroom.

"That's weird," he muses when he figures that he has heard her play piano when he would come to sell her the strawberries, "I thought you had your piano in the room next to the back foyer?"

"I used to," she's amazed at his admittance and becomes bashful at his confession and his eyes widen at the realization and looks away to inspect the piano than gauge her reaction, "We moved it a couple of days ago upstairs. I had to play and it hurt my mom so we had to bring it into my bedroom," he nods knowing the fact that her mom's bedroom happens to be on the ground floor.

"Would you play something for me?" His request takes her by surprise and she immediately nods her head sliding onto the bench with him sitting right beside her. And it becomes a routine.

He comes up every day, silently listens to her play, work her magic not knowing that its him its getting worked up. He returns home a little bit lighter, a little bit calmer and it only goes to raise more eyebrows.

"I was out hunting," was his excuse every single time his absence was questioned and they let it all go because they didn't have it in them to stop him from enjoying what little calm he managed to acquire in these dire straits.

It only goes out of hand, hell breaking lose when they share that kiss in the cave. His heart breaks and he feels his life tumbling out of his control both emotionally and physically and before he knows he is pounding on her back door.

Luckily it's just her or her and her mom but her mom happens to be so submerged in the morphling that it's difficult to even count for her as a company. So for now, it's just her in the house.

Gale, regardless of any fact, has her back pressed against the back wall of her house and without any warning captures her lips in his. She gasps slightly and her lips fit right into his and it has him groaning against her.

It was just meant to be a distraction and nothing more but her soft lips were able to provide more than just a distraction. They were able to give him the reassurance that everything will be okay and that she will be there for him no matter what. She will be his solace, his secret as long as he wants.

He takes his time, kissing her sweetly, savoring her taste all the while expecting her to vanish. His arm curl around her waist, tugging her closer so they share their body warmth along with their breaths in this chilly winter night. Guilt tugs his insides telling him to stop it, not to do it when his best friend and potential love interest is fighting for her life but he wraps up that feeling and stores it in some dark corner of his mind paying no attention to it at all.

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls her bottom lip between hers to suck on it lightly and her moans has him sending his hands under her flowing dress, skimming her legs.

She can't focus anywhere to begin with, not knowing where to rest her hands with Gale's rough and calloused hands running across her legs. She would rest it on his chest, crawling her way up to his neck and then to his face pulling him closer and closer. She smiles against his lips when he groans and skims her hand through his hair, pulling at the roots of it.

As they went on tangling themselves more and more, feverishly kissing each other for some sort of resemblance at life, a soft click has them break apart and upon discovering her father's return she has him running back to the Seam with the promise to meet him in the woods the coming afternoon.

She goes back to her bedroom making some sort of an excuse of wanting some fresh air and stays awake the entire night. She can't seem to sleep for whenever she closes her eyes, she expects Gale to lean in and kiss her feverishly, the way he did minutes ago. The ghost of his hand on her waist, rubbing circles has goosebumps fleshing the entire time on her skin. She gives up on the attempt and lies wide awake in her bed thinking of what they might end up doing tomorrow.

Only that she isn't given any chance. He does not turn up at all. He regrets it, she knows. She knew it all along but decided against stopping him because even though it was a mere distraction for him she would take it all. Whatever he would throw her way.

* * *

_Am I mad? Am I masochist? Am I so pathetic that even when he did all of this to me and more that I would go back for more, expecting every time that he would just mend his ways and realise that I was the one meant to be with him?_

_Yes, _she thought. _Yes I am, _and she goes back to dressing herself for the banquet that was arranged at her house in honor of Katniss and Peeta. She expected Gale to be on the guest list, with him being her pretend cousin, but he does not show up.

_What did I expect?_

* * *

She finally sees him when she is on her way to meet Katniss. And not in an entirely pleasant way for she found both of them together. And the moment she sees him, it sends her heart crashing to the ground. What did she expect? That Gale would come to see her everyday, bring her flowers, shower her with love and end the day on a happy note by sealing it with a kiss? It's pathetic of her to expect that and she falls in her own eyes for that. She knew, she knew and yet she managed to fall for something that is very much out of her reach.

And then she cries.

Even though she knew that a heartbreak was inevitable when Gale Hawthorne was concerned, she didn't know that it would take all of her willpower to just stand impassive in front of him when they did come across each other.

He wouldn't look her way. Why would he? She was a mistake. A mistake he plans to forget and it was pretty clear to her that she was not needed anymore. Anywhere.

And that's her plan for the rest of her life. Stay out of everyone's lives whatever it takes and yet she can't fulfil that one promise.

* * *

His grunt, the heavy murmurs and the heavy, dizzying scent of blood has her running to the center of the circle, only to see the worst of her nightmares come true. Her worst fear being brought to life.

That someone she loves is being tortured.

Tears blind her eyes but she manages to run back to her house without drawing much attention, wheezing heavily for air, rummaging through her mother's stash for morphling.

A cough makes her divert her gaze and rest on her mother who is watching her daughter intently as she would search her cabinets.

"Mom?" Her eyes swell with tears for she feels guilty. But at the same time she feels small because for the first time in years she feels like her old mom is back.

"Who is it honey?" Her mom, though ill, is her mom and could see that she feels strongly for whoever she is doing this to have to steal from her own mother.

"I love him mom," she runs to her mom and hugs her tight, never realising when she had fallen for the dark haired hunter. What it took him to make her fall for him this hard and deep.

Her mom hugs her back just as tight and she fears that it might wear her mom down but she lets her because it's comforting and she wants every bit of love she can muster up because there's no one left to love her anymore.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay," her mom whispers and for the first time she does believe it is going to be okay. She does not hesitate a moment and say what is preying on her mind for months because she might never get the chance to.

"I love him mom but he does not love me. He does not," she sniffs but feels her mom skim her hands through her hair and suddenly, everything does not look as bad as it seems.

"Madge darling, I am feeling sick. I am going to lie down," Madge nods and props the pillow properly and holds her mom's hand, "Go take the morphling to him."

Madge nods immediately, her hair flying everywhere and dashes for the cabinet before retrieving the vials in a cardboard box and making a run for the door.

She is just about to leave when her mom's voice stops her.

"Yes mom?" Madge looks back into the dark recesses and finds her mother fading fast but with a glow when she says, "Remember honey, sometimes the joy does not lie in the fact that you are being loved but in the chance to get to say that you love someone. And I love you sweety."

"I love you too mom," Madge nods and runs toward the door and out into the blizzard.

She is determined to get through and as soon as she reaches the Victor's Village she knocks impatiently on the door.

The entire house stands at the door when it opens, opened by Mrs. Everdeen and she can hear Gale wailing even at the door. It pains her only to have to hear his voice and she pushes her hand at Katniss, not having enough energy or it's the urgency of the situation that she can't muster up any feeling of jealousy.

"Use these for your friend," she says when they are hesitant to take it from her. For God's sake they don't have the time to be hesitant.

"They're my mother's. She said I could take them. Use them, _please._" As soon as the box is out of her hand, she rushes back to her house not wanting to hear him groan with pain anymore and makes it fine to her bedroom.

* * *

It's weeks before he is allowed to move around. But there's nothing he can do. The fence, after the 74th Hunger Games, happens to be permanently charged and he is incapable to go hunting.

And so she sees him occasionally just loitering around from her bedroom window that overlooks the town.

It is on a Sunday that he shows up back at her foyer. She opens the door to him but keeps a plain face.

"Hi," he says but she stares at him blankly.

"What do you want?" She is straight forward. It took all she had to put her back into place and she is not going to let Gale break her apart again.

And yet she feels her heart breaking when she sees the very same emotion reflected across his face.

"I just came to thank you. For the morphling, you know," he can't look her in the eye when he says it and it only angers her more. Why couldn't he account for a genuine thank you?

"Okay."

He looks up and sees her looking at her impassively and he knows it's his fault that she is being like this, acting like this.

"Look Madge, I am so—"

"What did you expect Gale?" Anger fires behind her eyes up. She walks up to him and jabs her finger in his chest, "That I would accept your 'thank you' and kiss your lips off and we would ride together into sunset?" His eyebrows converge and his face takes on a look of scowl.

"No I was just—"

"Just what? Here to say thank you? Here to say sorry for all you have done to me? Believe me I didn't do any of it for _you_. I did it for Katniss. She happens to be my best friend too," his eyes turn into steel gray, looking over her coldly. Chills wash over her as she goes to continue, "And as for the apology, we are way past that point. There's nothing in this world you can do to make up for it," and she shuts the door right in his face.

She does not feel bad for him anymore. She feels bad for herself more than she feels it for him and manages to survive through each and every day.

* * *

It nearly breaks her to see him everyday when she sneaks newspaper and magazines. Titbits of news, aiding to them in her own sneaky, rebellious ways. She would tell them about the current betting on who would be the Victor of the Victors and how the progression of other districts is going on.

But all she hears, sees, listens and feels is Gale. His gaze focused on her when she would talk to Katniss, Peeta or even Haymitch. She blatantly ignores him and it does raise suspicion as to what has happened between the two of them but Katniss chooses to ignore, Peeta knows better than to ask and Haymitch really does not care.

It is the day when they return back to the arena that she finds him in the forest sitting all by himself. She makes her way next to him and settles without a word not feeling the need to disturb the comfortable silence between the two of them.

He smiles and she does too because finally without saying anything, both of them feel that they are okay. Everything around them is not but they are.

And he does not know what happens to Katniss from then on. He stops watching the Games because he knows that whatever happens, Katniss is ready for everything that could be thrown her way. Whether she is alive or dead is nothing but a matter of her own choice and she chose it by thinking everything through.

But most of all it's the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that makes him feel that something bad is about to come and that is when he decides to spend the last of his days with Madge.

Listening her play music, hangout with her in the woods only to just enjoy the soft breeze of the wind carrying fragrance or laying in her lap in her bedroom when she would read some book, her hand playing with his hair. Doing laundry at his house with her or simply just kissing her, tasting her, breathing her in. He would bring her flowers everyday and kiss her goodbye, just like a fairy tale. Whatever it may be he spends every single one of his waking moments with her.

* * *

"Gale," she moans when his hands make their way under her dress, spamming the entire length of her leg, drawing patterns up her leg.

"Say it again," he begs her, shivering, pressing soft sucking kisses along her neck. He has her pressed against his mattress, him hovering over her to save her from the unknown dangers that loom above them.

She repeats it, only to have him bite down hard on her collarbone. Madge pulls him closer and her hands travel downwards, daring herself to go further than she ever did. His insides scream at him and he nibbles on her ear which serves like nothing but permission to her and she goes ahead, flipping the button to his jeans open.

And together they slip into the darkness of the night. The silence marred by their ragged breaths, the rustling of the clothes, the howl of the wind and the occasional moans that escapes them.

Madge screams in reckless abandon when she hits it, only to be cut off by Gale kissing her hard and silencing her. He chuckles, his ragged breath fanning her face, her nose grazing hers as he looks up to meet her gaze.

"You might want to keep quiet. My mom's in the next room," Madge smiles apologetically before pulling him down back to her.

They spend the rest of the night like this. Her back against his chest, his arm around her waist with Gale whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

* * *

The drones of the hovercraft is what gets him to wake up. He sits upright, the sound making him feel very much out of place. He concentrates on a part of the ceiling, silently listening to the sound. He can't seem to put his finger on what kind of a thing makes that sound and decides on going outside.

He shifts to see blond hair spilling over his pillow and recollects last night not yet believing that he finally got what he wanted. To be loved. Not from where he expected but nonetheless it was more than what he had expected from anyone.

He leans to kiss her softly on her forehead whispering a quiet 'I love you' to her. He wants her to listen to him say it when she wakes up, he _will_ say it when she wakes up but till then he would keep it to himself, reveling in the fact that he can finally be happy with someone. That he can move on. She smiles slightly and shifts and Gale wonders whether she has heard him or not.

He quickly pulls on his jeans and makes his way outside, tiptoeing the entire way so as not to wake his entire family up.

Little did he know, he would eventually have to.

His eyes scanned the entire area outside his house and when they turn to check up the sky, they focused on small pin points. Far away from the horizon of District 12. He figured he did wake Madge to look at the herd of birds but immediately feels cold blind terror strike his nerves.

It's winter season. Birds are suppose to fly _away_ from District 12 not _towards. _And if those things are anything, they are definitely not _birds._ As soon as the realization strikes him, he runs into the house, waking his mom and siblings up.

He rushes to his room and stops short when he sees Madge looking at him worriedly. She woke up by all the chaotic noises being made around in the house.

He takes a minute to take her in. Her hand clutching the blanket to her chest, her bedraggled hair running in all directions and her eyes, as electrifying as they are, reflecting panic. It snaps him out of his daze.

"Capitol hovercrafts," is all he says and he pulls on his shirt, leaving the room to let Madge dress alone. Always the gentleman.

He quickly instructs Rory to get the Everdeens, Thom and Bristel and as many people he can get along in the way, who are up and going to the mines, and to tell them to make it to the woods beyond the fence. He tells him that Thom knows where they had stacked crates of dynamite they had smuggled in from the Peacekeeper headquarters a long time ago and he earns a disheartening look from his mother. He can deal with that later.

All their eyes turn to Madge as she emerges out of his bedroom, dressed in a hurry and all Hazelle does is raise an eyebrow at his son.

"I'll explain later," he replies awkwardly and ushers them out of the house.

The minute they are out of the house, the one thing Madge manages to see is that the hovercrafts seem to come from the far east.

And the first house that happens to be there is her's.

She runs blindly in that direction, towards her parents and Gale follows, running behind to stop her from going further into that mess. As they keep nearing the town area, the smoke, the ashes grow in concentrations.

So does the scream and the people and the dead bodies. Gale has to push a couple of people out of his way, shouting at them to go to the fence before finally reaching Madge and pulls her to him by her waist.

"LET ME GO GALE! MY MOM AND DAD ARE STILL IN THERE!" She thrashes against him, yelling and screaming at the top of her voice. Great! This is the time she decides to be least reasonable.

"You can't go in there! Madge! You will kill yourself!" He starts pulling her to the west of the district, where the fence kink is.

"NO! GALE! PLEASE!" Her struggling grows in intensity and Gale turns her around, hands on her shoulder, shaking her wildly so that she gets his point.

"Madge please. I am begging you! Don't do this!" He has to scream to be heard above all the ruckus. She does not focus on him but looks frantically over her shoulder at her house in the far distance.

"Gale I can't just let them die! They are my family! Please!" She tries to pry his arms from her shoulder but Gale holds her in a death grip.

"No! I can't lose you! Not now! Not again!" She's not listening to him and he says the one thing he knows will get her attention.

"Madge Undersee, I love you!" He shouts at the top of his voice. Madge turns around flabbergasted and does the last thing Gale expects her to do in a situation like this.

She places both her hands on his cheek and pulls to kiss him, lightly to begin with but soon growing in intensity when Gale reciprocates it with just as much enthusiasm.

"I love you too," she whispers softly by his ear and he is so enthralled by the fact that here is a girl who he loves and who loves her back that she easily slips from his fingers and disappears among the ash and the smoke. His eyes water and he coughs wildly, trying to get the dust out of his system but his conscience begs to differ. Is it really the smoke and the ash that is bringing tears to his eyes?

* * *

He sees her in everything he encounters.

He sees her in every blond he comes across in District 2, every brunette who has her determination, every redhead that pouts her way and every girl that shares her love for strawberries.

But that's not enough for him.

He moves on from one to the other, looking for his Madge in everyone of them, and he does. Little but he does. But that's not enough for him and moves on to the next one in the line, breaking his way through every girl's heart, never to come back for them.

But he can't afford to think about their broken hearts when he has it the worst way possible.

Not only people but he sees her in every speck of nature.

From the flicker of the sunshine that makes his way into his bedroom through the blinders wandering the darkness away to the moonlight that sighs and takes up the entire world under its care.

In the summer, her radiant self, lighting his entire life with the slightest of her smile, making him dizzy just by the light of it. Her breath caressing his face like a light breeze and in strawberries he sees her lips, tasting sweet, the same red, waiting for him, luring him in.

In the autumn, in its shedding leaves, spinning her troubles away as the leaves fall all around her.

In the spring, with its bright, blooming flowers encasing her as she plucks and inhales the fragrance of them.

In the winter with it's snowy white. Their colour only going to portray how pure and innocent she was and his cannibalistic urge to dirty her up. The snow that tickles him, chills him as a snowflake makes his way down his scarred back that he lived to see just because she gave him the medicine.

But most of all, and hauntingly enough, he sees her in the flames in his fire place in those wintry days, the mutts eating their way up her, licking her to the point where all is left is the dizzying and faded look in her eyes, that stay long after she is gone, pleading for _him _to forget her and move on.

* * *

He apologizes, every now and then. For the moments they had lost, that they could have spent together.

He apologizes for his behaviour for when he had been nothing but harsh and cold and indifferent towards her. Scowling at her, throwing obscenities at her.

He apologizes to her for ignoring her when Katniss came back, like she didn't even exist for him. Moving past her like she is nothing but a ghost, a bad one that too, from his past that he intends to forget, regrets he had ever entertained.

He apologizes to her for not being fast enough to save her, to confess that despite the odds, despite his protests he couldn't help but fall in love with her.

But most of all he apologizes, because he can't fulfil her last wish, her dying wish. Even if he wants to, he can't because there's no way he is going to move on. No way, that he is going to forget the girl with the strawberries. No way, that he is going to forget a girl who managed to capture his heart and take it away with her, wherever she went.

There's no way in hell Gale Hawthorne will ever forget Madge Undersee.

* * *

**A/N:- Longest thing I ever wrote. And to top it off it's my 13th Fanfic! And well 13 happens to be my favourite number (for those who don't read Conspiracy by a Quisling)! Anyways, since you know already now that I have other 12 fanfics out there, you might wanna check them out. All Gadge. No pressure.**

**What are your thoughts on this one?**


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